Palin and Brewer 2012? Yes, please.

Some of you may shiver to see the sight of Arizona Governor Jan Brewer in such close proximity to Whatever-She-Is-Now Sarah Palin. Not me.

 

Sarah and Jan in April 2010 at a Diamondbacks game. AP photo: Paul Connors

 

Holy moly, I would never have writer’s block ever again! Yes, I know it’s selfish, but, hey, they’re not gonna win. Plus, the SNL skits would be amazing. I know this because I’ve already seen most of them back when they were called Absolutely Fabulous.

Jan Brewer is what you’d get if Skeletor‘s sister and David Duke had a baby. Does that really sound like something America needs next?

It would be the first time C-Span was considered a comedy network, I guess. That’s a plus. Imagine:

Watching Fox News defend daily hot messes like that could also be entertaining. Republicans might finally get sick of themselves and quit blaming former president Bill Clinton for everything that has gone wrong since the end of slavery. Or not.

Not everything all-American Sarah Palin does cracks me up. Never fear. Those tacky Juicy Couture sunglasses she wears with the GIGANTIC name brand printed in near-billboard-sized, garish lettering on the frames? I hope there’s an afterlife for her where she has to wait hand and foot on all the Americans who have lost their jobs to corporate offshoring practices. Go buy some Oakleys, ya old wolf-killing hag. If you want to be president, you probably need to quit walking around like an advertisement for the very thing responsible for our economic crisis — cheap labor and corp tax shelters/assistance.

But back to things that are amusing . . .

I was sure the following snippet was Jan Brewer upon initial viewing. Turns out, I was wrong. It’s drag queen Donna Sachet singing the anthem during the opening of an MLB game between the Arizona Diamondbacks and the SF Giants. Hey, I was close. No offense, Donna.

Maybe Edina and Patsy were there for that one?

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Hobby Lobby vs. Sarah Palin

Harvey Lacey shared his views regarding that fabulous Sarah Palin with us today on Alexandria: “I think this lady has become a victim of her own advertising,” he wrote in conclusion. 

Indeed.

sarah_palin

I added my own take. (The Palin bait is too easy to refuse on a lazy, Sunday morning.)

“The other day I was secretly enjoying my unintended, three-hour shopping trip at the ultra-conservative and Blue Law-adamant Hobby Lobby. Please tell no one. I SWEAR that I ran in for a frame and got sucked into some kind of black hole of Jesus Christ and half-priced mantle pieces and crazy, little candies called ‘Testamints.’ It could have happened to any of us.

“ANYway, in the clearance aisle, there was just a ton of crap, but in AMAZING abundance there was one item: the pit bull/hockey mom quote mounted on cheesy polyresin. Those things were ALL over the place just begging to be purchased by Stepford soccer moms peeking down the sale aisle (after already finding the fake fruit and flowers and seasonal patio furniture they came for).

“This really reinforces a couple of very basic, fundamental things for me: (a) the hard right wing definitely put too much stock into being able to sell this woman to its target voters — quite literally, even; (b) months later, the people aren’t buying Palin’s trite poo at severely reduced, closeout prices.

“Look, when my elementary school-aged daughter watches the news to crack up at Palin’s ‘jokes,’ that’s an indication Miz Sarah ain’t near the best this Republican party has to offer. In fact, Palin is an insult to true politicians on all sides of the fence — period.”

Neil DeGrasse Tyson mentioned a significant point in a lecture I attended this past February. He explained the correlation of avoidable disasters to our lack of qualified scientists and mathematicians. NDT believes that without properly analyzed funding and public interest, great minds of the future will choose other careers. Perhaps, this theory also applies to qualified public servants and elected officials. 

We seem to be gambling more than anything else. It’s all about picking a team and throwing your support and money down one tube, hoping you’ll hit some kind of political bonanza. At least, that’s the message I’m getting. The last Presidential election was akin to watching the Superbowl. When Obama won, we jumped out of our seats and chest-bumped ourselves into tomorrow with popcorn flying all over the couch and horns honking from the neighborhood beyond our windows. 

I meant it when I called Palin an insult to politicians. She is. Let’s vest ourselves into serious politics again with our feet firmly planted in the soil of society rather than private interests and divided parties. 

If Palin gets a cable show, then I’ll probably watch the hell out of it. She belongs on TV programming, not in my government.

I’ll even buy her bobble head. (Anna Nicole, R.I.P.)